Whirlwind 

I’ve just returned from another amazing holiday, this time in Taiwan with a mini stopover in Singapore. It was such a good trip with so much to see and do. I was thrown right back into student life, which in all honesty has been a breeze so far. 

I’ve just had so many thoughts going on in my head that I’m still trying to make sense of. It’s funny how even after talking about it to others,  I can’t seem to shake it off. I guess that’s going to be something that I need to get used to. Argh. 

To friend or not to friend 

Some people are in our lives for a specific amount of time and that doesn’t make them less valuable. It just means you’re onto a new chapter. It means you’re redefining who you are and what you want, and you’re allowed to decide it doesn’t include that other person.

I do not know why I need (yet another) thoughtcatalog article to tell me that it is okay to let people go. It is part of life. 

On another note, I am back in South Australia. The first state that made me fall in love with Australia. As bad as this sounds, I’m still asking myself (4 weeks into moving back) why I liked it so much 😂 Maybe those feelings will flood back when it’s time to leave the state. Maybe.

With that being said, I am grateful and thankful for where I am right now, doing what I have always wanted to do. 

Turning 30

More than 2 months into turning 30 and how do I feel? Fat and old. Sad isn’t it? My skin feels drier too, which happens with age…and weather but I want to blame age. Something always seems to hurt after every workout, which never seemed to happen pre-30. I find I need absolute silence when concentrating on something (when in the past 8 months did I lose my teacher skill to concentrate on something in the midst of chaos?) It sure doesn’t get easier as you grow older, does it? 

Regret 

You know how you feel obliged to meet people that you never wanted to meet in the first place but you feel bad if you didn’t meet them because your parents really wanted you to meet them? Yeah….I was put in such a position not too long ago. Sadly I’m still regretting that meet up, 2 weeks into the year. Argh. 

On a separate note, I’m so glad I’ve learnt the art of keeping silent in the lead up to turning 30. I think it’s a much needed skill to have in this time and age where everything you say is scrutinised to the last intonation. So sad. 

Living on a mountain

I’m not much of a risk-taker, but this year I took the biggest risk of my life. I quit my job of 8 years to move to another country and live on a mountain. My mom thought I was crazy, my dad loved the idea and my work supervisor was very amused with my life choice. There have been moments in the past few months where I’ve asked myself if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. Thankfully, the memories of how I felt while working where I was at are still heavily etched in my mind, reminding me never to regret the decision I made.

I never thought I would get the opportunity to live on a mountain, but here I am. At the highest point of the Barrington Tops, surrounded by green pastures with cows, brumbies, wallabies, kangaroos and wombats peacefully grazing on grass, crimson and eastern rosellas, kookaburras and many other types of birds sitting on fences waiting to catch their next feed, the gentle rustling of trees with pretty, pretty flowers that I do not know the name of, I finally feel like I can recognise the sound of my heartbeat again.

 

 

Love, life and friendships

I want to believe that a majority of these emotions that I’m currently feeling is due to hormones but I know it’s also driven by genuine disappointment. I’ve lost a friend. Deep inside I know that things will never, ever be the same again between us. I have to say I saw it coming, but I guess I wasn’t entirely prepared for it. All I can do for now is to wish her well and that she finds her way through life with ease. 

The good thing that came out from this bad experience was the ability to count my blessings and be grateful for the people around me. The staples, the ones I wouldn’t know how to live without. My cousin, that one friend from college, 2 of my ex-colleagues whom I now consider amazing friends, my parents, Coby and Abe. These are the people who truly matter to me. ❤️